Many in the academy love to polish their vitas. Yes, many in the academy have large egos. But none has an ego that matches the size Donald Trump’s, even though becoming President of the United States is the ultimate addition to a resume. So, does Donald Trump, who has probably never applied for a job in his life, have a resume? He may. He would use gold leaf, I’m sure. But in case he doesn’t have a resume prepared, I am willing to help. He may need one soon…
DONALD J TRUMP
The White House
The Winter White House
Objective: to make America great again
President, the Somewhat United States of America
Former CEO, President, Trump Enterprises
TV Celebrity (Schwarzenegger sucks.)
Public speaking (Love it.)
Bullying and intimidation (I am first.)
Insults (Locker room talk is my specialty.)
Hiring the best people (like Mike Flynn)
Keeping out bad hombres (rapists, drug dealers, terrorists, everyone not like me)
Twitter (Early morning tweets are best.)
Largest crowd ever at an Inaugural Address
Work Ethic: More productive in three weeks than other presidents in an entire term.
Leadership: Drained the swamp in DC by nominating new crocodiles.
Confidentiality: Ability to protect secret information, even at places like Mar-a-Lago.
Organization: Have caused more people to organize than any president.
Intelligence: I am smarter than everyone.
Builder: Built the best buildings to display my name.
Interpersonal Skills: Strong, firm handshake with my big hands.
Beauty Judge: (It’s really okay for me to visit the dressing room.)
Watching CNN (fake news)
Cheating at golf (at my fabulous courses)
Thinking about revenge
Taking people to court
Running for president again
No longer being president